When I prep people for birth one of the things I always create is a “SAFE WORD”. I remember first hearing about safe words from reading and watching “50 shades of grey”. When Christen first brought Anastasia into his “play room”. He told her at anytime she wanted him to stop or didn’t feel safe all she had to do was say the word and he would stop immediately. I started using safe words a few years back after hearing stories from women that asked for an epidural but their birth support team ( with best intentions) kept pushing them even though they begged and pleated for help. They all said the same thing that they felt unheard, unsupported and traumatized. As a birth worker we all want to help our clients reach their goals especially when clients are working towards a natural unmedicated childbirth. I myself am known for be loving and compassionate but at the same time have no problem administrating some tough love when needed. Clients can ask me ( and their partner) for an epidural all they want ,we can all talk about it and I will keep on push them . But if at any point they say their safe word there is no more conversations or negotiating to be had, they can’t take it back once they say it and I go get them help right away. Everyone that has used their safe word always thinks about it way they ever speak it. When choosing your safe word you always want to use something that you wouldn’t normally say. Some of the safe words I have herd are; Toxic poison, abracadabra, blue ballon, uncle Fester ….. You get the idea. I always have it on the birth plan so if birthing in the hospital the doctors and nurses knows about it as well . Always best for success to get the team on the same page and let them all in on the game plan.
Happy birthing xoxoox Lori