Q&A with Licensed Midwife, Abby Vidikan

“When women hear I am a midwife it often leaves a door open to share their birth stories, some great, some traumatic, but in the end entirely theirs and I can hold space for that no matter how difficult it can be to hear them. I don’t think a single day will go by that I will take for granted what this model of care offers women, a chance to be seen and heard, to be emboldened to make decisions that while rooted in research, also inevitably feel intuitively right to them. I will never pretend to love their baby more than they do, which is why I will also never make decisions for that baby that their parents don’t ascribe to. There will be no railroading, no forcing because my medical license does not give me license over you, your body, or your baby. My job will never be to tell you what to do or what the right answer should be. Most days I think I have the best job in the world, I get to watch women in their finest hour, I get to witness greatness, an energetic force so powerful that it can bring me to my knees. Some days I think I have the hardest job in the world, my energy left depleted from the amount of myself that I have given over to my clients that day, the days spent holding space for others, pouring my body and spirit into someone else’s dreams. But in the end, it will always be worth it, to end the cycle of being fed the lies that we as women should fear what our bodies are capable of— menstrual cramps getting you down, just take this pill; contractions too much, here’s a catheter in the spine, you don’t need to feel a thing. And maybe you don’t want to feel a thing, that’s okay too, but let it be because YOU decided it was too much, and not because some man who doesn’t have a uterus and has never experienced so much as a menstrual cramp, tells you it is too much or because your cousin’s friend’s sister told you how hard it was going to be. Often on the other side of really hard things is greatness, ascendency, and evolution of the mind, body, and spirit. 

I dare you to taste it, to bask in the freedom of making informed decisions for yourself, to only allow those who see you as more than just a number on a chart to lay hands on the dominion of your body and your baby. There is a better way forward and it does not lie with the status quo.”

- Abby Vidikan 

You know those people the minute you meet them you just know they're your people. That’s how I felt about Abby when I first met her! From day one It was an automatic love fest. I LOVE supporting our clients together in collaboration throughout pregnancy, birth, and beyond! Not only do I trust her completely but getting to play in the birth vortex with Abby is FUN and we just flow effortlessly together doing whatever we need to do to best support our birthing families. 

For those who don’t know of Abby, here is a little Q & A I did with her:

1. What’s the difference between doctors and midwives in terms of scope of practice and care?

“Where do I start with this one hahaha?!  I want to clarify that I am speaking about your average OB and not the rare unicorn who practices more like a midwife. I think what we have in common is licenses through the medical board, but that’s about it. The midwifery model of care for me is really shaped by the concept of listening and informed decision making, it’s ascribing to a less-intervention model of care although we have all the tools for intervention if they are absolutely needed. We ask for permission to touch you, we answer your questions without judgment, and we really believe that the power in the midwife-client dynamic lies with a birthing woman.

In terms of scope, midwives can care for low-risk pregnancies, and have to collaborate or transfer care to a doctor if a patient becomes high risk at any point.” 

2. How long have you been a midwife and how did you get into becoming one?

“I have been a midwife for just under 7 years. My first introduction to being a home birth midwife was through my Aunt Sue, who has been a midwife for over 20 years. When I would visit her office it always struck me how deep the connection was between her and her clients so I knew when I got pregnant I would definitely want a midwife. Unfortunately, I lived on the other side of the country from her when I got pregnant with my first but I did seek out midwifery care. While pregnant with my son I was working in politics, but around 36 weeks, in something I can only describe as divine intervention, it hit me that I was supposed to make midwifery my path. I called my aunt and told her that I think I needed to change the trajectory of my life and go to Midwifery School. She gave me some very practical advice about waiting until my oldest could deal with mom being “on call” so when he was 18 months I applied for a program that would start just after he was 2, and I received my acceptance a month later. Hardly a day goes by that I don’t think about that day, and thank my lucky stars that I was put on this path because I can’t imagine my life any different.”

3. Who is your favorite doula?

 “We both know the answer to that ;) ”

4. What’s your favorite part about being a midwife?

“I am a huge extrovert so getting to meet so many different people from different walks of life is probably my favorite part. I love the relationships I build with my clients!”

5. Do you have children? And if so how were your births and how did you choose to give birth?

“I have three kids— Jack who is almost 11, Adena who is 6 and a half, and Judah who is 2. 

Jack was born with a hospital midwife group in Washington DC. I had considered homebirth but didn’t find a midwife I connected with, and I really loved the primary midwife I met with when I went in for an annual exam and conception planning. The hospital where I delivered at a hybrid hospital/birth center feels, where the midwives were pretty adamant that being a part of their care meant hiring a doula, taking a childbirth class, and planning non-intervention, unmediated birth. Water birth was also an option there. It was a very cool model but you were still in a hospital which meant you were at the mercy of some hospital policies. I showed up at the hospital once at 4 centimeters because my doula thought I might be in transition, but I went home after my exam. Less than 8 hours later I was back and fully dilated. Jack was sunny side up so my labor was all back labor, so I did lots of sitting on the toilet and required lots of counter pressure on my lower back which my husband really helped with. My midwife supported me in 100 different pushing positions and listened with a Doppler the whole time so I didn’t have to be hooked up to the monitors. I still can see her in my head, squatting in front of me with a flashlight, as I pushed on the toilet in the dark. She was really wonderful and I still think about her often. After 3 hours of pushing he was born and I tell you at that moment, I felt like I could do anything. The high I felt in those hours and days after he was born solidified my plans to become a midwife because I wanted to bask in those feelings every day.

By the time I was pregnant with my second I was living back in California, studying to become a midwife under my aunt, so naturally, I planned a home birth with her. Her birth was every bit as special and as beautiful as  I thought it would be and her birth room was filled with endless amounts of love. With my youngest, I was a busy midwife so it was interesting navigating that pregnancy while also catching babies. The last baby I caught was exactly two weeks before I went into labor with him. I have to admit that it was much harder for me to slow down with him, and I sometimes wonder if that is the reason he is the ball of energy that he is. I was back at a birth exactly one month after he was born, but you know that because you were there too. Midwifery in some way defines me as much as being their mother, so I had a hard time stepping away for long, but my youngest attended births with me for a few months after he was born, and I love to think that he was imprinted on a cellular level by all of the badass birthing women he got to spend time around. I swear he still perks up when he hears the sound of a baby’s heartbeat on the Doppler, as if his subconscious comes alive from the sounds he heard so often while he was in my belly, and then while he attended births with me on the outside.” 

6. When do people normally start working with you?

“Everyone’s timing is different. Some women find me well before they are even pregnant, others call or email the day they get a positive pregnancy test. Some find me later because the care they are receiving is not supportive and they know there has to be a better way. 

The latest I ever had someone come into care was the day before she went into labor and that is a magical story that I shared on my Instagram for those looking to read it. The moral here is that there is never a wrong time to explore another option.” 

7. Do you work with women and couples that are trying to conceive? If so how?

“Yes! I offer in-home IUIs for those struggling to conceive of same-sex couples looking to start a family. I also do pre-conception counseling and fertility planning for those interested in starting to try.” 

8. Who is a Candidate for home birth and who is not?

“Candidates for home birth include any woman who is considered to be having a low-risk pregnancy, and that does include first-time moms. Obviously, we want the baby needs to be considered low risk as well, although some women do choose to have their babies at home even given some higher risk diagnoses like Down Syndrome or cleft palate. 

California has clearly defined stipulations for what risks someone out of home birth but generally, anyone who is experiencing a high-risk pregnancy that can’t be managed at home is not a good candidate. This does not necessarily include what the medical establishment has deemed high risk, like being over 35 years old or having gestational diabetes, it’s more complications like high blood pressure or certain clotting disorders. Don’t ever hesitate to seek out a midwife and ask whether you are a good candidate.”  

9. If planning a home birth what are your top 3-5 must-dos?

“I really, really believe that all women can benefit from doula support, whether it’s your first baby or your fifth. I have always had a doula by my side while giving birth and I cannot imagine doing it any other way. 

I think a well-taught childbirth education class is so crucial for preparing the mind, body, and spirit of both you and your partner for what is going to be the most transformative experience of your lives. 

Taking care of YOU- physically and emotionally. Homebirth is an option for low-risk women and so it is important to stay in that category. Supporting yourself nutritionally, staying hydrated, and getting adequate rest. Trying to remain low stress by incorporating meditation practices, yoga, or daily walks to clear the mind. 

Body balancing is so important. So many first laborers can be impacted by less than ideal baby positioning. Our modern lives really don’t support the growing pregnant body so incorporating chiropractic care, acupuncture, or daily stretching like Spinning Babies daily essentials, is a must. 

Find a team that makes you feel safe and supported. If a care provider isn’t cutting it for you anymore, find someone else. The labyrinth we walk in labor necessitates feeling safe and if someone on your team isn’t working for you anymore, you are setting yourself up for potential setbacks during birth. I have done transfers that I swear were caused by my client’s mother forcing herself into their birth space. The mind is a very very powerful thing.” 

10. What’s your wildest birth story?

“Oh gosh, I feel like I have a few I could share. I had a surprise breech 6 months after I became licensed. The baby had been head down on ultrasound less than a week prior. When I showed up at her home to do a labor check, her water was leaking so I didn’t do a vaginal exam. The baby was really low but still felt head down. When her husband called me back to her home by the time I got there, she was pushing. It became very obvious very quickly that I was not looking at a head. California law does not allow for midwives to attend breech births at home so I had to call for paramedics to come even though I would continue with catching her baby. When I tell you the hottest Fire Captain in the county walked in and said “I’ve done a few breeches, how can I help?” I thought I was in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. With the assistance of McSteamy, we resolved a bit of a sticky situation and everything turned out beautifully, although mom did have some feelings about turning around to see 4 firemen staring at her.” 

11. What happens if there is an emergency or a problem how do you handle that?

“It really depends on the complication. There are many emergent issues we can handle at home— postpartum hemorrhage, shoulder dystocia, neonatal resuscitation— to name a few. We can also administer antibiotics and IV fluids to those who need them. If there is something that we cannot resolve at home, we will go to the hospital for higher level care but I want to stress that that scenario happens less than 1% of the time with all home births.”

Click HERE to read more about Abby and check out her Instagram

Thank you, Abby!!!